Pedro: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
Pedro: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
Pedro: “God, may I have a penny?” God: “Wait a minute.”

Pranaya the bear walks in to a pub and says “Can I have a pint of lager and a……. packet of chips please.”
To which the barman says, “Why the big pause?”.

Sister Bob is asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up.
Little Pranaya says: “When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!”
Sister Bob’s eyes grow wide and she barks: “What the (beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb) did you say?”
“A prostitute!” Pranaya repeats.
Sister Bob breathes a sight of relief and says: “Thank God! I thought you said a Protestant”

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
Pedro: One dollar.
Teacher (sadly): You don’t know your mathematics.
Pedro (sadly): You don’t know my father.

Pedro and another guys were sitting at a bar on the 40th floor of a skyscraper and were totally plastered.
The first guy said, ”Hey, I’ll bet you a million bucks that I can jump out of this window, fly around the building, and land right here next to you!”
Being so totally wasted, plus hearing a completely impossible bet, the Pedro replied, ”O-K”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and came right back to the same spot. ”WOW,” screamed the Pedro, ”That was incredible. Do it again!”
So the first guy jumped out of the window, flew around the building, and landed right next to his friend. ”That is remarkable. Do it one more time!”

”Ok,” said the first guy, ”But if I do it again, when I come back you have to do it.”
The pedro agreed, and with that, once again, the first jumped out, flew around, and came back. ”Your turn,” he said.

So the Pedro stepped up to the window. ”This is easy. He did it, so can I!”
The much pumped second man, took a deep breath, and heaved his body out the window. He fell straight to the ground and died instantly upon impact. Calmly the first man walked back to the bar and ordered another beer.
The bartender remarked, ”You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman!”’

Pranaya and his friends are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the bunch find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.

“Meow,” says the first friend.

“It must be a cat,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.

“Woof,” says the second friend.

“Must be a dog,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.

“Potatoes,” says pranaya

It was pranaya’s first day in Canada. He wanted to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns “take off.” Then he learnes “zebra” from the zoo and “baby” from the hospital. Then the next day, he goes to the school and tells the teachers ”Madam, I learned new words today.” She says, “Great, pranaya what did you learn?” He says, ”Takeoffzebrababy!”

4 men - a Bob, Joe, Lalu and Pranaya were being interviewed for a high level job. With nothing to choose between them, the President told them over dinner that the decisive test would be carried out the following morning, with each candidate being asked the same question and the best answer would get them the job.

The next morning, first up was the Bob. “Here’s your question,” said the President, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” Without hesitation, he replied “A thought, because it takes no time at all.” “Very good answer,” said the President.

Next up was the Joe, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. “A blink,” replied the Gujju almost instantaneously, “cos you don’t think about a blink. It’s a reflex.” “Good answer,” replied the president.

Next was the Lalu, “What’s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. The Bengali thought for a moment, “Electricity, because you can flip a switch and 20 miles away a light will go on immediately.” “That’s a great answer,” replied the president.

Finally, it was Pranaya’s turn. “What`s the fastest thing in the world?” asked the president. Scratching his head Santa replied: “Diarrhoea, because last night after dinner I was lying on my bed when I got these awful stomach pains and before I could think, blink or turn on the light…………………

Pranaya told his kindergarten teacher that he had found a frog, and she inquired as to whether it was a live or dead.
“Dead,” the Pranaya informed.
“How do you know?” the teacher asked.
“Because I pissed in his ear,” said Pranaya innocently.
“You did what?” replied the surprised teacher.
“You know,” explained the Pranaya, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst.’ The frog didn’t move.”

The Pranaya was growing up to be a MD. One day he was shocked when he received a failing grade in radiology. Approaching the professor, he demanded to know the reason for the grade.
“You know the self X-ray you took?” asked the professor.
“I do.” said Pranaya.
“A fine picture,” the professor said, “of your lungs, stomach, and liver.”
“If it’s a fine picture, then why did you give me an F?” asked Pranaya
“I had no choice,” said the professor. “You didn’t put your heart into it.